Engagement Ring Crazed – Oy!

I’m a girl of marrying age, so I think most people would assume (myself included) that I should have some idea of what I want out of an engagement ring.  How wrong could I (and everyone else) be?

As I noted in my prior post, Mark has courageously handed me over the reins in picking out just what I want in a ring.  Now, if only I knew what I wanted.  Well, I thought I did.  So Mark and I went to a few jewelry stores to look around, but when I tried on various rings of that particular so-thought-desired style, they seemed to fall flat on my finger.  Shoot.  As I slowly made my way around the store, hovering over case after case of sad-looking empty settings, trying to envision what they would look like with a center stone, I got frustrated.  There are so many choices – cut, size, metal, “trimmings” if you will.  How am I going to decide?  And how do I know I’m seeing all the options?  What if I make a decision today and then see a much more interesting and BETTER ring 6 months from now?  I try to be decisive in life, I really do, but as my friends know, I’ve been searching for a table lamp for 2 years, and I just can’t seem to pull the trigger on buying any of the gagillion I’ve seen.  God forbid I waste $39.99 on a lamp and then see a better one two weeks later on sale at Marshall’s.  No, no, that just won’t do.  For now, I’m content to continue squinting at magazines in the semi-darkness on the far end of the couch until just the right lamp presents itself to me (in my price range).

I certainly have a much better understanding of the crazy stress guys must go through in buying an engagement ring for their girlfriends now.  Not only are making THE major life decision to commit themselves to another, they are shelling out some potentially serious $$$ to purchase that “perfect” ring.  And a lot of times, there’s an assumption that this must all be done without actually asking for said girlfriend’s opinion about what she may want, so that the ring, and often the actual proposal, is a surprise.  I like the idea of all this mystery, but it’s just gotta amp up the stress hormones.  Take for instance this guy’s guide to buying engagement rings from the infamous wedding website “The Knot”.  (Full disclaimer, I too have a “Knot” profile…please don’t judge, it seems really helpful so far!)

http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/marriage-proposals/articles/8-engagement-ring-shopping-tips.aspx

Entitled “Rules of Engagement Rings”, there are some potentially helpful tips about shape (for those that failed kindergarten) and style, but then it goes so far as to advise that you SPY on your girlfriend.  Now I understand they aren’t telling you to read your girlfriend’s text messages and go through her diary, but it still feels a bit creepy to follow her around and take “mental notes” as to her style choices.  I mean, why don’t you just go ahead and create a “case file” notebook like the kids on “Ghostwriter”…does anyone else remember that awesome PBS show? No? Okay, nevermind. It was great.

Well anyway, suffice it to say I think I’ve made a decision and committed to a style.  (But you’ll have to just wait and see once it’s officially on my finger…unless I already showed you a picture, and then, well, good for you.)

Although now the next hard part is upon me in where to actually purchase it.  I started with a standard style and then decided to make all these adjustments to it, so it’s not like I’m going to get to see the final product and then say “Eh, this looks like crap, nevermind, I’ll keep looking.”  I will have to be committed to this from the get-go so I better well enjoy working with the people who have my little ring’s fate in their hands.  My choices seem to stand in two camps at the moment: 1. Work with my local retailer where I can walk in and harass them about all the details of the design up until the finished product is on its way; or 2. Work with a remote designer that, while I won’t have that same person-to-person experience, will likely save me some dollars and cents.  Either way seems risky to me in that, as previously stated, I’m super paranoid that the end piece won’t be what I want (don’t worry, I realize this is obnoxious of me since I’m getting a pretty ring at all, but I can’t help worry about it).

So I can only imagine that guys going through this same sort of decision tree process blind to the tastes and peculiarities of their girlfriends find the whole thing overwhelming and a huge time-suck.  Or maybe not?

If anyone has any suggestions or pros/cons on going with a store vs a designer I’d love to hear them!  (However, be forewarned that I will likely promptly ignore your advice and continue to stress out until the money is on the table and there’s no turning back.)